Hand-in-hand: Humility & Need
Monday @ Montpelier: September 2
On the Cusp of the New Season
As per my previous post on humility, I have been praying for an increase of humility in my life. What I did not anticipate (nor appreciate) was how much that answer might be connected to an increase in need.
It makes sense. If I’m going to practice acknowledging the limitations of my God-given shape, and relying on others to contribute what I cannot, then I’m going to experience increase in awareness of what I don’t have.
Most of the summer, I have nursed an urgency to fill our atriums’ gaps before the next year began: finish all the infancy narratives we started, buy lap tables for individual work spaces, acquire the materials for the rest of our Kingdom Parables (just to name a few…) Lack of funding + my inability to continue on without a significant period of full-stop-rest has meant that almost none of this has been accomplished.
At first, this translated into a constant fluttering of panic in my chest at the thought of our opening day in September. As I examined my fear, I realized how much I’d started to believe that the power of the atrium to capture the hearts of the kids is in its materials. But the materials are not the point, purpose, or pull. It’s Holy Wonder and the marvel of Truth that draws them in and makes the atrium their hearts’ home.
The kids don’t need practice to believe in the power of those things; it’s intuitive for them. But I need practice, constantly. I eventually wondered if I was seeing God answer my prayer for humility—if he was giving me an opportunity to practice laying down my pride.
“I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ”
Heart Adjustment, Courtesy of Humility
I have had to acknowledge that the atrium isn’t strictly about or for me, and that I am the co-worker, not the captain of the team. That God himself is adequate for the kids and for me, and so what we already have is sufficient. Any further developments or materials the atrium acquires are gifts, but nonessential.
I hope that encourages those of you who don’t have access to an atrium at all. God’s power, and the compelling story of His love for us, is sufficient to draw our hearts to him, no matter the method, situation, or opportunities around us.
So this is me, coming as I am, once again opening the doors of the Montpelier Atrium, such as it is, and welcoming you to join, where you are.
